4 Reasons we Struggle with Change and How to Get Unstuck 

One of the most frustrating aspects of personal growth and change is when we see viable solutions, but somehow we can’t seem to action them. We are often left feeling frustrated, aggravated, depressed or stuck, amongst other emotions. 

Yes, change is hard. Most of us set goals for ourselves in the new year and then give up. Maybe you did take some action, but at some point, you found yourself exhausted and in resistance to any sort of forward movement.

In this article I’d like to explore a few core reasons why we struggle with making changes, and offer some solutions that will root you back to deeper self-belief and courage to continue taking aligned action.

1. Fear of the Unknown – Not only can change be hard, it can also be scary. After all, your ego wants to protect you and keep you safe. It likes the familiar and likes what it can control. And for the ego-mind, the unknown is not safe (even if it could lead to greater levels of wellbeing).

Solution: Focus on aligning beliefs, words and actions.

Most often, sustainable change is done over time through consistently showing up for yourself, and aligning your beliefs, words and actions. In other words, our power lies in our daily choices - what we wish to think, feel, say, believe and do. 

2. Inadequate support to make the change – When you start walking your own path, you may begin to feel alone on your journey, as if no one else can relate. You may find yourself trying to explain to others why you are changing, just to find yourself exhausted and frustrated because nobody seems to “understand”. Not everyone will be “on board” with the change you wish to bring in your life. And the truth is, they don’t need to!

Solution: Choose your support system 

The most important element is that you become your own best ally. And this comes back to your belief in your growth. To bolster that belief, connect with a community (or a person) that inspires you and supports you. Is it joining a yoga class? A community group? Working with a mentor/coach? Choose a place and/or a person where you feel seen, heard and supported. 

3. Fear that relationships with important people will change – It’s not uncommon for our relationships with others to change when we make changes, especially if we’re setting boundaries, quitting people pleasing, changing emotional habits or engaging in other ways to make our relationships healthier. As old dynamics and the status quo becomes disrupted, the dynamics of our interactions with others change. You want to continue connecting deeply but the risk of rejection gets in the way.

Solution: Accept or release old connections and open up to embrace new connections

Yes, it’s important that we honor the relationships that have supported us until now, playing their own part in our journey. Yet we must also get honest with ourselves and discern which relationships are worth our time and energy now. Do the people you usually hang out with drain your energy or fill you up? Choose with whom you want to continue engaging with and with whom you will stop.

4. You don’t have time to focus on yourself - There are so many things that need our attention on a daily basis. It’s easier (and sometimes more fun) to just meet everyone else’s demands and needs and forget about our own. Yes you may have set some goals for yourself, but now, procrastination creeps in…and soon shame and self-judgment will say hello.

Solution: Commit to making yourself (and your dream) a priority 

This doesn’t mean you have to become selfish (and in a way it also does!). You can still be there for others AND be there for yourself. It just requires some re-organizing of your calendar and schedule. Boundaries become super important. How much time do you want to spend on yourself? What are you willing to sacrifice in order to reach your dream? How much time do you want to dedicate on working toward your dream? Carve out time in your daily and weekly schedule and choose to commit to yourself. 

Wherever you are at in your own self-transformation, remember to be kind to yourself. Change is not easy. Yet it can be quite a beautiful process with the right support. Surrounding yourself with people that inspire you is key, as is your own self-belief and trust in the process.